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Dating Insider DATING
INSIDER
( Extract From Chapter 5)
COPYRIGHT
© 2003-2007, DATING INSIDER.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
In Chapter
28, I touched upon a theory
of dating that I call the "Dating
Continuum." It is important to
understand this continuum so that
you employ the best tactics at
the right time. Something that
works for you early on in your
work with a woman will not necessarily
be as effective later on, as familiarity
and complexity enter the picture.
To recap:
"All the
techniques and strategies that
you employ in your quest, whether
it's for dating, seduction,
long-term relationships, or
the big "M" (marriage) all exist
on a continuum of interaction.
This continuum begins with the
first time you interact with
a particular woman (see her
across the room, bump into her
at Starbucks), and ends with
the dissolution of your relationship
(stop calling her, breakup,
divorce), no matter how long
a time this may be. (Maybe even
"'til death do you part...")
It begins anew with every woman
you meet.
Planning and execution
In order
to get what you want out of life,
you've got to have a goal. Now,
there's more than enough success
literature out there to get you
on the path (read Think and Grow
Rich by Napoleon Hill, or Awaken
the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins
for a start.) I will only re-state
that you will drastically enhance
your success in life if you would
only write your goals down. Decide
for yourself:
What kind of woman do you want?
Looks,
education, disposition, sexual
experience, hobbies, education,
age, musical tastes, athleticism,
smoker/non-smoker, etc. Be specific
(and realistic.) Break these
out into two categories - the
MUST-haves, and the NICE-TO-haves.
Knowing the difference is important,
because there will always be
differences, and knowing which
ones are deal-breakers will
be vital.
What will you do to find her?
Go to
bars, learn how to talk/behave
confidently, get a wardrobe,
clean up your appearance, ask
five women a day for their phone
number. You have to have a broad
strategy or game plan to understand
what effort will be necessary
to get what you want. (Whatever
your plan is to play the numbers
- yes, dating is a numbers game
- realize that it's easier to
change yourself than the rest
of the world.)
The majority of people spend more
time planning a vacation than
they do planning their lives or
a simple path to a goal. Don't
be one of them.
The Continuum
The relationship continuum is
broken up into three stages:
Meet:
Find the women you are interested
in. Then introduce yourself
to them.
Mate:
Create attraction with a woman.
Get to know her enough to make
a decision as to where this
will go - or won't go. Explore
and decide.
Move
on: If you want to stay with
her, great. If not, you have
to move on and begin the process
anew.
Having a strategy and knowing
how to use it will keep you from
wasting your time and energy in
despair and drama. When you have
a plan, you at least have some
control. There are some people
out there who say that control
is an illusion. I disagree. Most
people fail to take ownership
of the areas of their life that
they can control. Always have
your hands on the steering wheel,
even during a skid.
A great
approach is to view the dating
process as a long screening process
for a job that you are looking
to fill. That job description
is basically the description I
told you to sit down and write
out.
Some examples:
Now Hiring:
SEX KITTEN. Good looking, secure,
woman with no cats of her own
to enjoy casual dating and deliriously
good sex.
Or...
Now Hiring:
MONOGAMOUS MATE. Good looking
Latina with fierce love of 80's
Hair-Metal bands and large families,
marriage essential.
By framing your work as searching
for someone you have the choice
to take or leave, you give yourself
a vast boost in confidence. Don't
think that this process is just
about being chosen, or that you
need to "take what you get." It's
up to you to decide who you will
spend your time with.
