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Dating Insider

DATING INSIDER
( Extract From Chapter 4)

The D.I. Guide To Flirting
21 Sure-Fire Moves To Melt Her Heart (And Get Her Into Your Bed)


COPYRIGHT © 2003-2007, DATING INSIDER. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

The important thing to remember about being a great flirt is that it's not necessarily your looks or bank account that's going to make the difference in getting that woman you've had your eye on. If you're serious about mastering the fine art of flirting, you'll come to find that even a man with regular features and ordinary funds can soon begin enjoying the company of the woman he'd thought was unattainable.

Like any new activity, flirting is always toughest when you're just starting out. But, after some practice (and those first flushes of success), you'll begin finding a rhythm that suits your particular style before you realize it. Here are 21 tips that will help you on that road toward becoming that great flirt you've always wanted to be.

1. The First Words

Ah yes, the 'all-important first-thing-to-say'. So much has been written about the proper lead-in for flirting that it strains us a bit to discover anything new to say on the subject; yet if we don't, we'll be doing you a disservice. What new ideas can we bring to the table?

Firstly, while we're not going to deny that the first thing you say to that gorgeous creature who's caught your eye is very important, we don't necessarily think it's a magical statement that's sure to make or break any future hopes you have with her, unlike many others who have written on the subject. Remember, underneath all the hoopla, flirting is really nothing more than communication, much of which is achieved through simple conversation. The fact that it is, by definition, often sexually-charged does not change that basic fact. The same essential aspects of communication that you would use any other time apply here as well. To assume that the possible success of an entire conversation necessarily depends upon the first few words spoken gives them such a frightening importance, it's a wonder men and women still talk to each other at all.

Any real bout of flirting is, like any other communication, about the entire process, that continued communication - spoken and unspoken - that people always share with one another. Therefore, what you're really looking for is a way to get her into a real conversation with you. If you see an opportunity for the wonderful opening, use it; but otherwise, you're simply interested in getting her to notice you in a beneficial way, and getting her talking.

Ask most women outright, and they'll tell you that hearing an 'opening line' is one of the few things that really will turn them off right away. Most women have heard opening lines hundreds of times, and hearing another one coming from yet another man they don't know tells them that you're unoriginal and you don't consider them special. That's death most of the time; women love to feel appreciated, that they have something a little special, and want their men to act as if they see it too.

A much better method is to simply come up with a remark referring to your immediate surroundings or common condition, with a witty statement that appears to be spontaneous clearly being the best. It gives her the feeling that you're quick on your feet, and that you're considering her to be special enough to start up an honest conversation. That's the problem of the opening line; it gives a man away, and makes him appear as if he's really not interested in her at all, even if he really is.

Another very good way to start a serious bout of flirting with someone is to perform a bit of the ol' 'namedropping' technique, which is one of the most simple and effective ways to get a conversation flowing. For instance, if that wonderful-looking redhead works with a friend of yours, mention your friend's name; if you've seen her talking to someone you know at the local coffeehouse, it might be a good idea to mention to her later on that you know them. And, if you think your friend can keep a secret, it might also be a good idea to talk to them about her beforehand; a few extra facts in your corner about that woman you're after never hurt anyone. Besides, it's a good way to make sure you're not trying to steal your friend's woman right in front of them.

When you are flirting, dropping the names of common friends or associates gives you an instant means to open up an interesting conversation, and if you can recall some strange, little quirk about that friend to make her laugh in agreement, you're already well started. She'll instantly feel more connected to you, since you and she share a common experience.

Note: Make sure she likes the person you're mentioning to her before you proceed. Mention their name and wait for her reaction before going farther. You don't want to mention a common acquaintance who might be a real pig when he's around women, and immediately start talking about what a swell guy he is. She's sure to judge you by your reaction to that person, so wait for her response before you proceed.


 

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