COPYRIGHT
© 2003-2007, DATING
INSIDER. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
The important
thing to remember about
being a great flirt is
that it's not necessarily
your looks or bank account
that's going to make the
difference in getting
that woman you've had
your eye on. If you're
serious about mastering
the fine art of flirting,
you'll come to find that
even a man with regular
features and ordinary
funds can soon begin enjoying
the company of the woman
he'd thought was unattainable.
Like any
new activity, flirting
is always toughest when
you're just starting out.
But, after some practice
(and those first flushes
of success), you'll begin
finding a rhythm that
suits your particular
style before you realize
it. Here are 21 tips that
will help you on that
road toward becoming that
great flirt you've always
wanted to be.
1. The
First Words
Ah yes,
the 'all-important first-thing-to-say'.
So much has been written
about the proper lead-in
for flirting that it strains
us a bit to discover anything
new to say on the subject;
yet if we don't, we'll
be doing you a disservice.
What new ideas can we
bring to the table?
Firstly,
while we're not going
to deny that the first
thing you say to that
gorgeous creature who's
caught your eye is very
important, we don't necessarily
think it's a magical statement
that's sure to make or
break any future hopes
you have with her, unlike
many others who have written
on the subject. Remember,
underneath all the hoopla,
flirting is really nothing
more than communication,
much of which is achieved
through simple conversation.
The fact that it is, by
definition, often sexually-charged
does not change that basic
fact. The same essential
aspects of communication
that you would use any
other time apply here
as well. To assume that
the possible success of
an entire conversation
necessarily depends upon
the first few words spoken
gives them such a frightening
importance, it's a wonder
men and women still talk
to each other at all.
Any real
bout of flirting is, like
any other communication,
about the entire process,
that continued communication
- spoken and unspoken
- that people always share
with one another. Therefore,
what you're really looking
for is a way to get her
into a real conversation
with you. If you see an
opportunity for the wonderful
opening, use it; but otherwise,
you're simply interested
in getting her to notice
you in a beneficial way,
and getting her talking.
Ask most
women outright, and they'll
tell you that hearing
an 'opening line' is one
of the few things that
really will turn them
off right away. Most women
have heard opening lines
hundreds of times, and
hearing another one coming
from yet another man they
don't know tells them
that you're unoriginal
and you don't consider
them special. That's death
most of the time; women
love to feel appreciated,
that they have something
a little special, and
want their men to act
as if they see it too.
A much better
method is to simply come
up with a remark referring
to your immediate surroundings
or common condition, with
a witty statement that
appears to be spontaneous
clearly being the best.
It gives her the feeling
that you're quick on your
feet, and that you're
considering her to be
special enough to start
up an honest conversation.
That's the problem of
the opening line; it gives
a man away, and makes
him appear as if he's
really not interested
in her at all, even if
he really is.
Another
very good way to start
a serious bout of flirting
with someone is to perform
a bit of the ol' 'namedropping'
technique, which is one
of the most simple and
effective ways to get
a conversation flowing.
For instance, if that
wonderful-looking redhead
works with a friend of
yours, mention your friend's
name; if you've seen her
talking to someone you
know at the local coffeehouse,
it might be a good idea
to mention to her later
on that you know them.
And, if you think your
friend can keep a secret,
it might also be a good
idea to talk to them about
her beforehand; a few
extra facts in your corner
about that woman you're
after never hurt anyone.
Besides, it's a good way
to make sure you're not
trying to steal your friend's
woman right in front of
them.
When you
are flirting, dropping
the names of common friends
or associates gives you
an instant means to open
up an interesting conversation,
and if you can recall
some strange, little quirk
about that friend to make
her laugh in agreement,
you're already well started.
She'll instantly feel
more connected to you,
since you and she share
a common experience.
Note: Make
sure she likes the person
you're mentioning to her
before you proceed. Mention
their name and wait for
her reaction before going
farther. You don't want
to mention a common acquaintance
who might be a real pig
when he's around women,
and immediately start
talking about what a swell
guy he is. She's sure
to judge you by your reaction
to that person, so wait
for her response before
you proceed.